I’m excited to bring you a guest blog – this time from Cynthia Painter from Create Action Now who is a Mindset Coach and Trainer, following a very insightful workshop I attended recently. You can read my blog post on the workshop here.
Today I’m going to talk to you about Spaghetti Bolognese. Okay, I love a good ‘Spag Bol’ and I grew up with my mum (English, not Italian) making it from time to time. It’s a good easy meal that is generally a hit, right? As I became an adult, I also added it to my repertoire of meals and my kids love it.
So why am I mentioning it? Well, over time I’ve added things to it. I’ve looked at what it is important in my life, like health and eating healthy, and noticed that it was a little lacking. So I started adding vegetables (I can hear the gasps!). The family didn’t mind too much and it became the norm. Then I realised that my metabolism isn’t what it used to be. So I joined a health program, and one day there was a new recipe for Bolognese. The sauce was different, the qualities were different, and sometimes it didn’t have any pasta! How in the world was I going to get this one across the line with the family? But I’ll come back to that.
You may have guessed that I’m using cooking and a recipe as a metaphor to getting results. So let’s uncover the onion.
Review the last cook to go forward
Some people definitely miss this step. They write goals (and some don’t!) or set new year’s resolutions or write to-do lists over and over and over, and never take a moment to reflect and learn. It’s so important to look back with a sense of curiosity and review what you were looking to achieve, what worked, what didn’t, what you need to repeat and stop.
This was evident in my experience, as I reviewed my mum’s version of the recipe, which was what I grew up on in the 70s and 80s, and looked at what I needed going forward.
And before you decide to use this exercise to beat yourself up, remember there is no such thing as failure, only feedback.
Have a recipe – outcome and systems
Yes, I know some people love to wing it when cooking and I can be one of them. But it’s not enough just to set your outcome and expect it to happen. You need a recipe of execution. What I mean by this is that you need systems in place. You can’t just say I’m making X, Y or Z for dinner, and not get your groceries, or defrost your meat, or turn on the stove. For some recipes, there are very exact steps to follow -otherwise it just doesn’t work.
So, let’s look at an example. If you want to get to a certain healthy weight range, you can’t just write yourself an affirmation and stick it on the bathroom mirror. You must have daily systems for getting exercise and eating well. In business, you might want a sales, revenue or profit target, but you can’t just put it in the business plan and then not have a system for customer calls, tracking expenses, and marketing.
Cook with love – check your story
In my story, I was going to make big changes to the recipe for myself and my family. Now I had a choice.
On the one hand, I could tell myself the story that they aren’t going to like it, it’s going to be painful to put in front of them (I have young kids, so you get the picture), they’re going to whinge, and it isn’t going to taste any good.
I know that many of you have stories evident in your life based upon around the results you want to get. “I’m not good enough”, “They won’t like it”, “I’ll never make it”, “I’m afraid they’ll work out I don’t really know what I’m doing” ….. This is not cooking with love. You wouldn’t say those things to others, but they are the stories you tell yourself – and they can stop you from not only getting in and making something happen, but can also stop you from being you.
How do you overcome that? First of all, get conscious of your story. Build your awareness through journalling, reflecting, or just catching yourself in the moment. Then question yourself as to whether that is real, or the old you, or useful. Ask yourself what you can learn from it which is positive for you and your future. And sometimes you just have to prove your story wrong and use that motivation to push you though.
So, the kids asked what was for dinner.
With my heart in my mouth I said, “Spaghetti Bolognese” as I placed the bowls on the table. They looked at it. They tasted it. That ate it. They loved it. Whew! I was relieved, not only because they loved the new, healthier recipe, but because I was committed to this new recipe as part of me getting my results. So having them on side certainly helps, but if I needed to push through it, I was going to!
So what results are you aiming for over the next 6 and 12 months – and what do you need to refresh and review to get there?
Of course, if you need any help I’m happy to help.