How hanging out with the right people affects you
As famously said by motivational speaker Jim Rohn, we are the average of the five people we spend the most time with.
So who are those 5 people for you?
Are you hanging out with those who constantly frustrate you – and bring you down?
Or are you hanging around inspirational and supportive people, who uplift you every day, and are keen to see you succeed?
In today’s episode of Marketing & Me, I’m sharing some stories from my life and highlighting my personal strategies to ensure I’m surrounding myself with the RIGHT people.
The episode will be spoken from the heart – sometimes showing my vulnerability. But I want you all to understand how hanging out with the wrong people has impacted me – and why I’m determined to never go back there.
Let’s jump in.
Recently, there was a situation with a group of people who I thought were my friends.
I don’t want to delve into it, but let’s just say there was some awkwardness around me planning an in-home gathering for Halloween for the school mums and kids, people providing vague responses about whether they could make it or not, and then discovering a whole other gathering was planned by one of them – with the same mums and kids – at a local park at the same time.
I’m not sure which came first – our invite or their invite (and we just didn’t hear about it until later).
But anyway, I decided to cancel my party and take my kids to the park party. Then soon realised that everyone who I’d invited to our in-home party – who couldn’t give me a yes/no answer, were ALL at the other event.
I’m not sure what happened behind the scenes – but that experience sparked something off in me. It took me back to my childhood of exclusion….but I didn’t want to get sucked back into those old stories.
So this time, I did something about it. Rather than feeling down and wallowing in self pity about what I did wrong etc…I decided to take some empowering action.
I’ll explain what I did later.
For now, let’s take a trip down memory lane.
• Always felt older than my years in primary school – and my friends didn’t get me
• Every time I had someone I could call a ‘best friend’ would somehow leave my life
• I always seemed to have friends for a reason or a season, and couldn’t seem to have those friendships you see on TV
• I was a Jewish kid at a non-Jewish school and area – yet I didn’t connect with Jewish kids either who lived in Jewish areas and went to Jewish day schools
• Hated doing team projects at school and uni – no one ever seemed to have the same drive as me. (Year 12 drama, university video)
I had really low self-esteem during my school and uni days. And even a little bit after that. I was always worried about what others thought about me. And I’d try to be something I wasn’t as a way to fit in.
But over the past 14 years or so, I’ve been determined to change things around!
Seven years ago, I started a business and started networking. Woah! These are my people!
Passionate, driven, action-takers. They think like me and I find that I can connect with them on a much better level than anyone else.
Yes, I’ve had friendships with playgroup and school mums – but because they didn’t and don’t have businesses, I’ve struggled to connect with them in the same way.
As a fellow business owner, have you ever felt the same?
I’ve always wanted to live an amazing, successful, and fulfilling life. Have it all – family and a thriving income via my business.
I don’t want a mediocre life. I don’t want to complain about my kids, hubby, and job all the time.
I only have one life and I’m determined to make the most of it. So if anyone wants to play the victim in their life – and they prefer to complain rather than change things, I simply don’t have the time for that.
After speaking to fellow networking fans, I know they feel the same way as me. So many of them have said that their closest friends are fellow business owners.
And it’s become the same for me. But I don’t want to hang around those who are happy to have a hobby business. I want to be with those who can see all of the amazing potential their business and life holds!
In recent months, after I’ve connected with a great referral partner, I’ve made an effort to chat with them for 15 minutes every month. So almost every day I’m chatting with a business owner so I really connect with.
And that brings me back to my original story.
So yes, I was feeling a bit bleh about the whole Halloween party thing. And I kept playing the whole thing out in my head. Should I ask more questions and find out what their deal was? Should I ask if I did something wrong? Or do I simply ignore it and put my pride aside?
Well, I put my pride aside.
But I actually went one step further than that. I decided to create a Power Group via WhatsApp and invite business women I know who uplift and inspire me. I also shared this idea via LinkedIn and a few others asked to join.
We’ve had the WhatsApp group for almost 2 months now – and it’s filled with wins and challenges, questions, frustrations, and accountability requests.
The feedback from those in the group has been awesome. With a few commenting that this type of group is EXACTLY what they needed.
THESE ARE MY PEOPLE. These are the people I WANT to surround myself with.
It doesn’t take any extra admin and we don’t all communicate every day. But I highly recommend that you set up a similar group via WhatsApp or another channel.
Because life is worth living to the max. Don’t let yourself be dragged down by toxic people or situations.
Ride the rollercoaster of life with people who actually love the thrill of the ride – and won’t complain the whole time and ask to get off.
ABOUT LEANNE SHELTON:
Throughout her career, Leanne Shelton has gained vast experience in journalism, marketing, communications, events, and B2B sales. She has worked in both corporate and not-for-profit roles, but since starting Write Time Marketing in 2014, Leanne has found her true calling.
A self-proclaimed English nerd at heart, Leanne is extremely passionate about the written word and loves working with Health & Wellness business owners to prepare effective content marketing strategies to best suit their target audiences. Even though she has dabbled in all forms of copywriting, Leanne specialises in business blogging as she loves the capacity to form ongoing relationships with her clients.
While some business owners choose to outsource their blogs to Leanne to write, others prefer to take the DIY approach and learn about the art via training opportunities online, face-to-face, and her podcast ‘Marketing & Me’.
Outside the office, Leanne enjoys dancing, reading, listening to inspiring podcasts, and spending quality time with her husband and two young daughters.
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